New Twist on a Classic Tale
The re-telling of a well-known story is one of my favorite types of writings to read; particularly the re-telling of Cinderella. You did a great job with your summary by hinting at what types of new twists you're going to introduce within your particular re-telling. Some of your elements remind me of one of my favorite movies, "Ever After", such as having one of the step-sisters be a kind person, and having the Prince and Cinderella characters meet early on in the story. I also like how you're including plot points from other well-known fairy tales and am intrigued with where you will ultimately go with the main storyline using these points.
There are some grammar and spelling errors, as well as a couple of paragraph structure issues where it was a little challenging to see which character was doing which action at times. These are all easy to correct, however!
Overall good job so far! You have a very creative story idea!
I really like the idea you have going on here. You have my attention and as a reader, I'm curious to know what's going to happen to the seven girls next and what sort of spiritual power has been given to them. I agree with a previous reviewer in regards to adding more details about the story's setting. To add to this, I would also suggest adding more concrete details about the characters in the scene. I had a little bit of a hard time following the dialogue and keeping track of who is who. Adding something concrete about the characters - such as what they look like, what they're wearing, etc. - can help bring your readers more into the scene and connect to your characters. Good job overall though! I strongly encourage you to keep going with this story!Read the story now
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