FaithColeAuthor

Overall, amazing, but...

You have a very compelling and gripping start to the story. I love the dark, ominous sense you get straight from the start. The plot seems solid and well thought out and with a seemingly good flow to it. It's not too rushed, but it's not lagging either. You gain the reader's interest instantly in the first chapter and you maintain it well in the following chapters.

However, it does need some work to make it REALLY amazing. Grammar and sentence flow was my biggest drawbacks in reading the initial chapters. Some of the sentences were far too long with unneeded detail which made them seem a little daunting to ingest.

With that said, take a little time to really focus on the Grammar, flow, and overall structure and I think you've got something that could be an epic hit! I'm really looking forward to seeing this book, and your writing develop! Keep at it, and I wish you all the best of luck <3

Just wow!

I haven't read the full book yet but I fully intend too!

At first, I was a little unsure as it's a style I am not used too however, by the end of Chapter 1, I'm hooked!

The thoughts, feelings, and emotions of the child are captured perfectly and written in a way that is completely believable. It is compelling, easy to read and so far each chapter has left in such a way you really want to read on!

Amazing!

Highly recommend

Wow! I was hooked by the end of the first chapter. The plot is a breath of fresh air, these days so many novels end up with similar plot lines and all that differs is how it unfolds, but this is different. The ideas are fresh and original with the writer drawing from the standards and making it completely their own.

I love Priscilla's character so far, she seems unique with a mind of her own which a great! I think out of the ones introduced so far, she's my favorite and I can't wait to see her character and personality development throughout the story as it continues.

The only thing I can critique is some minor grammar flaws. Some of the sentences are far too long which makes them difficult to read, so consider breaking up the longer ones and making full use of commas, full stops, semicolons etc, to make these easier for the reader to absorb. Grammarly really helps me,

Other than that, it is well written and the plot is solid, and I cannot wait for future updates to see how this all unfolds! Keep up the amazing work! I love the cover too, it looks very professional!

Overall, very good

Overall, I've enjoyed what I've read in the first 8 chapters. The plot for me is certainly a big draw in as it's very different from the typical themes of fantasy/supernatural plots. The characters seem pretty interesting as well, and I do enjoy Mason's wit and humor most of all.

In terms of readability, the chapters are short and sweet which is mostly a good thing. Some books do require longer chapters while some veer better with shorter ones. All I will suggest in terms of this is focus a little more on the narrative text (the storytelling). Describe how they feel, the room they're in, their emotions, their looks, etc between the spoken and thoughtful dialogue. You never have to give too much, but it really helps the reader immerse themselves in the book.

Another small tip, sentence structures could do with a little reworking. Some of them come across a little staggered, so see if you can make them flow a little more =) Also avoid using things such as 'like, literally, everything was black'. This could be better written, 'there was not a sign of color amongst the clothing that was blacker than the night sky'. Just as an example.

Overall though, you're doing great with it and I strongly encourage you to continue with the book and I look forward to seeing the plot unfold! I love that it's different and how you've given each of them their own sense of mystery and personalities. A big thumbs up from me!

Great start

So far, so good! I'm really enjoying Normani's character, I can relate to her on so many levels. I too, in school was that nerdy kid who hated parties and was often stuck into studies and work.

The book has a good, solid start to it and I cannot wait for future updates to see where the story takes each of these characters.

Just a small piece of advice, the chapters could do with being run through a program such as Grammarly (this is what I use and it's free) just to whittle out some minor typing errors and clean up the grammar. Also, don't spend too long in the initial section of the story on the characters and background. Things like the background of a character, their relationships, personalities, etc can be developed as the plot progresses. Spending too long on the build-up can cause people to lose interest, so don't be afraid to pack a punch early on and use the main plot to help build these things.

However, with that said, it is a strong start and Normani's character is highly relatable to many which I think will help pull other readers in, and Shayla's character will draw others in as well! So, keep your eyes on the prize and keep up the awesome work <3 I look forward to reading more!

Amazing

Overall, this is a really great and strong story. The plot is solid and well thought out, it is consistent and flows very well. The general pace is set at a reasonable level as well, and the word usage is great. The way things are described and portrayed really get you sucked in and leaving you wanting more.

All I can suggest for improvement areas is to look at big chapters. Some of the paragraphs are too long which can make it hard to read, so look at splitting these up and look at condensing down some chapters or splitting them up =] However, with that said, it's a great read, solid story and has a whole heap of potential!

I can't wait to read more!

I need more

It is rare I find books that capture my interest in just one chapter, typically I need to read 2-3 to get a real feel of whether a book will be worth my time reading.

However, one chapter and the author has caught me like a fish taking the angler's bait!

I cannot wait to read future chapters!