Jimindipity

Improve for success! (Constructive Criticism)

The story seems cliché and progresses way too quickly. There are also some spelling and tenses errors, other than repetitive sentences. If these “mild” errors were to be fixed though, I think that the quality of the story would drastically improve. By doing so, the reading of this would be much more pleasant.

Plot? (Constructive Criticism)

I like the way you describe the various scenes and the atmosphere you can create in your writing. I believe that the plot isn’t really progressive and that all the chapters posted so far, could be summed up into only one. I don’t know what you’re really going for in the story but it’s a bit confusing in my opinion. The blurb doesn’t help either as it says that Y/N and Jin are supposed to fall in love but in the story they’re already dating. Overall, it seems like a smut one-shot divided into multiple chapters (which is not bad but it’s just what it seems). Lastly, there are few and minor spelling errors.

I would suggest writing out a somewhat detailed outline of the plot and increase the length of the chapters 🤧. Try also choosing what you really want to be known about what’s happening and leave the minor occurrences out. It helps to keep the reader stay on track.

In conclusion, try making less filler chapters and more active events (a well thought out plot might help but again, idrk where you’re going :,3). Other than that, reread your work multiple times and perhaps in different days, for any spelling errors.

Hope this review helps and that you won’t get discouraged by it ;-; These are just suggestions to help you improve ^^