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famished memory | silky silhouette
I was drawn in immediately by your gorgeous prose. Your descriptions, the way you use uncommon or quirky or off-kilter ways of describing things, are stunning, and give the piece so much substance and weight. After a certain point I could infer what had happened to the wife, but that didn't mar my curiosity to see what would happen to the husband. Really stunning work!Read the story now
[obligatory Marie Antoinette quote here]
I am a huge fan of magical realism, of worlds where the central character or plot doesn't revolve around a human being at all, and that's why I loved this so much. The language was poetic, the characters driven by their own unique agendas, and the descriptions were so clear and detailed so as to appear in full saturation in my mind (leaning in both savory and gory directions). I also love stories ending in punishments or consequences reflective of the crimes committed over the course of the narrative, so you really nailed that, too. Beautiful job with this – I would love to read more of your work someday!Read the story now
Rhythm & Pace
You used commas and short sentences to great rhythmic effect here: I got an almost screenplay-like feel reading it, as though everything was stage direction, which made it really easy to fall into. It also served the plot really well: how mysterious the situation was, how closed off Mrs. Kelly is, how the disappearances don't make logical sense.
By having the dialogue be very complete and complex, it made the rest of the prose stand out so much more.
I really enjoyed reading this, especially the second time: I noticed some little details that I didn't catch the first time through, and I love that in a story. Nicely done!
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