JoyNaval

call me beep me if you wanna reach me if its 3 am and you want some feels hit me up in the place to be lol

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good

I like my poem anthologies with a whisper of a connecting story within the poems. So far from the poems I’ve read I can see how they could relate to one another though I’m not too sure if that’s what you’re aiming for.

I am not a usual consumer of poetry so please take my words with a grain of salt. I noticed that you are partial using verbose words and I see no harm in that, I mean, it is poetry but please make them fit. So far from what I read they stood out like walking in a smooth, white sand beach and then suddenly walking on jutting blocks of cement. That’s what it felt like.

But overall, great job!

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Has potetial

It has potential. The grammar is good, especially since you’re writing in Tagalog, I think you are doing out language justice or even trying to. Others are too ‘bara-bara’ when using it. They don’t adhere to the grammar rules anymore or maybe unaware that rules even exist.

As for the dialogue, I genuinely thought that Typhoon is gay. Like for real. Then you mentioned that he’s a womanizer of sorts? I can’t believe it. Maybe if he was using that language with sarcasm. But you showed no sign that he’s being sarcastic.

Also, this seems very run-off-the-mill in love with your best friend kind of story but as I said it has potential, it all depends on where you would take it.

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