JustSomeone1

Please check out my books and let me know what you think of them! Thank you!

Hi @@JustSomeone1 I’ve read over your works here and I enjoyed your stories. Do you have any social media that I can follow? ^^

Hello! I am writing to give you some pointers on your book Slowly Drowning. I think it really has a lot of potential and a great story line but I feel like a few things need to be cleared up! For one, you could spend some time re reading your story and fixing minor grammatical and spelling errors, loop holes and cutting out some unnecessary information. I only say this because it made it a little confusing to read when you added in the Japanese girl, the three brothers that broke into her house repeatedly, and mostly, what is up with her super healing and strength? etc...

The other thing I would like to address is that the whole thing feels a bit rushed, a lot of questions are left in answered! For example: it would be nice to know why her fiancé left without explanation, what the birth mother and ‘Vic’ have in common, and why they are associated with ‘the company’, what is ‘the company’? Why is it keeping prisoners, what is its purpose, why was 905 in there? I feel like you are perfectly capable of fixing these small issues by just adding a bit of explanation, I feel that it could really add to the story and help readers better understand the plot!

The last thing I wanted to bring to your attention is that the ending seemed a bit unfulfilling, we never figure out the answers to any of the questions I listed above, and the relation ship between the heroine and 905 seems a little forced. Once again, I think you could easily fix these issues by just spending a little time editing and ‘filling out’ the story with a few more details!

I love the journal perspective though, and I think it’s a really creative idea!!

you obviously don’t need to take any notice of my advice, and please don’t take offense from this review! This is not meant to hurt your feelings in any way, I am only trying to suggest ways you could make your book even better! Thank you for reading this, and good luck in the future!

Best wishes, BeckaBean