Kunuob

Bangalore

Aspiring author from India

No published stories yet

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Star Child

I will start by saying that I like the story. However, the plotting could be better.

Part 1 - I had no issues with part 1. The writing and style could use some improvement, but the plot moved smoothly, the story was intriguing and the characters were interesting. The end was an absolutely thrilling cliffhanger and the whole thing was a thrilling and philosophical experience.

Part 2 - In part two, we see the main character living a different kind of life. I thoroughly enjoyed the rich scene and character development in this part. The pacing was good for most of it, however towards the end I felt it dragged a bit, but all in all, Part 2 was strong.

Part 3 - The part where all the original conflicts get resolved. The action was solid, but the pacing, for me, was not quite right.
I enjoyed the conclusion and cared for the characters and their conflict till the very end. This is truly a great story, but I think the sequencing could be rehashed to add a bit more urgency to the plot and improve the hook of the pacing. If it were me, Part 2 would be the main story with a gradual unraveling of the true conflict, eventually arriving at the conclusion. The charm of the characters and setting is strongest in part two and the story's main conflict along with the backstories of the characters is detailed in parts one and three. As such, to pack the narrative with more urgency and heat, I would've lead with part 2. Just my opinion.

Overall, a book with a very creative story, well-developed characters, scenes and relationships that, for me, suffers a little bit in the plotting and pacing department. Not boring or tedious, by any means, but I think there is potential in this tale for a tighter plot.

Thank you for the read. I wish you well

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Humanity will break free, in the end

What a great story that was! A story of angst, written from the point of view of characters that were taught to be respectful of traditions in a class based society that took basic human rights from granted.

The characters' struggles are extremely well expressed, and you feel their pain as you read about their thoughts and actions. By the end of the story, things don't look great as they get pretty complicated, but the author serves us with a powerful conclusion that will make the heart sing.

My only gripe is how the story jumps across timelines and I think this is a missed opportunity to develop the tension, the characters and their chemistry.

This is a story of struggle, loss and redemption, very well expressed, and plotted. Thoroughly enjoyed the read! Thank you!

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Quite a story!

I really enjoyed this story. The author has a talent for moment-to-moment description and character analysis. I could imagine every bit of the experience. The first chapter started off with a sizeable description of two of the characters by an omniscient narrator, which I think could have been worked into the story later on, so as to not slow down the action and urgency the first few chapters worked to build, and I wasn't quite sure what was happening, but the writing style kept me reading. After chapter three, the story really comes into it's own, takes on a strong identity and makes the chaos its own, powerfully conveying dark humor, uncertain motivations and heroic realizations. I really enjoyed the characters, their chemistry and the plot. The author is not afraid to surprise the reader in shocking ways, which I loved!

One area that I would have liked to see more done is character set up and growth. We are introduced to two character's backstories in the first chapter, and they are contemplative enough that I wanted to see their beliefs challenged in ways that would reshape their personalities. Unfortunately, the story did not take this approach, and only dealt with their actions that directly contributed to the main plot while passing over a few philosophical asides. But, something tells me that this story was meant to have characters that are fleshed out enough to have you rooting for them and not ones that take attention away from the ridiculous charm of the plot. At least that's what I thought, and it worked very well.

Again, I thoroughly enjoyed the read! Thank you and good luck!

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