Luca H.L.

Delightful

This is another story that is normally out of my preferred types but I checked it out and I definitely enjoyed the little bit that I read. The depth and detail of characters have always been something that I find is very important. The writer does a great job of deepening their characters to the point you feel as though you know them in real life. I was caught off guard a little bit by the immense detail of the characters in chapter one though, as in the section that referred to their height and such. It may just be personal preference, so take my words lightly, but in my opinion it may smoothen out the reading if some details are lightly mentioned and left for the readers to fill in the gaps. For example, instead of stating the exact height of a character, one may refer to it by writing a scene where the characters are interacting and notes how one looks down at the other. Show and not tell, as they say. With that being said, the only other advice I can think of is to break down some of the large paragraphs into smaller ones but again that’s personal preference and all due to the format of this website. In conclusion, this is well written and I look forward to the writer progressing and showing off their wonderful skills. Thank you for the good read.

Unexpected

I usually don't lean towards this genre, but I am intrigued with the direction this story is taking. Characters are well written and filled with personality, I love the touch of the MC reflecting back on moments he recalls. There's only a few grammar or punctuation issues so it was a very smooth read and easy to visualize what the writer wants you to see. The pacing of this story is done very well. The writer isn't rushing or moving too fast, and it really gives the reader time to acquaint themselves with the characters and the situation. I also appreciate the how relatable the MC is, but that might vary depending on who's reading it. If there's anything that can be improved, perhaps more visual descriptions of the characters to paint a fuller picture? Well done and thank you for the good read.

I Enjoyed This

This story is well written, and I admire the depth put into each character. They all have very different personalities, and it is portrayed very well. It is also a very interesting plot, and the pace is set just right. A few grammatical errors but as usual, I'm not picky about those sorts of things and it's so little that it doesn't affect the reading. The writing style, I would say, is my favorite type. Detailed enough to paint an image but enough left out for the reader to use their own imagination. Thank you for this fine read and I can't wait to read more.

Interesting so far

This story is pretty interesting but there is always room for improvement. I'm not too picky about the grammar or punctuation, that can always be edited later, and the few things here and there doesn't prevent the reader from understanding what's going on. Well done in that regard. I think that the biggest thing I can recommend to the writer is to slow down a little bit. It felt like the story was progressing too quickly, but I was left with so many unanswered questions. Perhaps those questions will be answered later on, but they are important questions that I feel might be best to add early on. Such as how did this woman know where the MC lives? What made her choose the MC to offer this job to? What kind of work does this mysterious woman do that requires an assistant (or, at the least, what does she tell Amber that she does)? I think if it is slowed down slightly, it'll also leave room to add more depths to the characters. As of now, it seems any personality and information about the characters are all riding on the dialogue alone. With that being said, it is definitely interesting, and I do want to see what Amber uncovers about Adella. I hope to see all of my questions answered and I'm so very curious about Adella's strange receipts. Keep up the good work and don't give up.