MM Glenn

I am an aspiring SF/F writer, nerd, feminist, atheist, INFP and special education teacher. When I am not writing, I enjoy games, both of the video and tabletop variety.

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Editing needed

You have the beginnings of something interesting here, but the technical errors bog down the reading. Watch your tenses, clearly denote dream sequences with either italics or explicit wording in the narrative. Let me know if you do a round of edits, and I will give this a second look.

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Strong premise, the prose needs a touch-up

I feel like it starts off really well, but slogged along halfway through the first chapter. I felt the protagonist's frustration, but not in a good way. Essentially nothing was happening, while the protagonist relieved the same dream, over and over again, racking his brain for clues to the Door Man's enigmatic riddles. Try and find a way to tighten up the narrative while maintaining the frustration the protagonist feels as his attempts are thwarted.

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