Obviously, the author worked hard on this story, and also wanted to create a specific atmosphere. In that, he succeeds -- the story is very atmospheric. It's so atmospheric, in fact, that the plot gets a little lost in all the description. Now this is coming from someone who never could get into Tolkien's work, no matter how hard she tried, so this may just be my personal preferences coming through. In any event, as another reviewer noted, some good editing would probably solve most of the issues.
Read the story now
Having said all that, the story does address some interesting issues, and I'd like to know more about how the people on the "blue dot" react to Pluto being inhabited. I sort of felt like I was dropped into the middle of the story though, without much of a frame of reference, but again, a little judicious editing and re-writing could solve that issue.
The story is certainly worth reading and I salute the author's hard work and effort to build a story and a world. Good effort.