A Wonderful Read!
So far, this story is developing into something wonderful. The mythology behind it only adds as flavouring for the plot, and that is something that will cater to many readers' tastebuds. The imagery is good, though, it does overdo itself at times.
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The style I think is nice, but there are times where the author alternates between past tense and present. This is seen in some novels, but usually they have a consistency about them, whereas here I think the author just slipped. Other than that, it is refreshing.
The grammar is very good in the description with little errors here and there, but the dialogue is where I found common mistakes such as using periods instead of commas for closing punctuation and vice versa. There were also missing words and punctuation marks in places.
Overall, a very enjoyable read. I think with editing this could shape up to be something magnificent.