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I think the characters really shone in this story, you did a good job of making them actually people. I do like the plot as well, it was well thought out, for the most part, if a little cliche in some of the biggest points. But, they are cliches for a reason and while it makes the plot a little predictable, it had a lot of heart.
There were quite a few grammatical errors though, the best way to catch those is to read sentences aloud slowly while editing, or have someone read them to you aloud.
All in all, it was a good story, I enjoyed reading it.
I could easily picture Harry and the expressions he used because of your writing. The characterization was excellent. Definitely a very cute story!
The only criticism I can think of is that when going through plot it's always good to "show and not tell." It would have been cute to see Draco and Harry during one of their lunch meetings. Not entirely necessary, but it can help build on a plot when a time is brought up more than once in a story. Just a thought though, I loved it anyway!
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