I love children's films. It is my aspiration to write stories that are a blend of life, love, and life lessons.

Overall Rating
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation


I really liked how you wrote this. A bit of grammar felt off but I'm no expert so it's no biggy. I liked the tone and the mood of your writing. I enjoyed how it felt like it was real. You could feel for the narrator. All in all, I was very impressed with how well written this otherwise simple scene was.

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Top 10% in Fated Paradox

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