ReeceMNolan

A heartwarming story (so far)

Let’s be real for a second: romance is not my thing. Still, I believe if you say no to everything and remain rigid, you will never be able to truly live a full life. Anyway, this story is such a delight to read despite the fact that *I’ve only experienced an inch thus far.* The cast is small with a sense of adequate charm, ‘rose-in-the-mouth suavé that I’m sure those who follow this genre will find a lot to like. Hopefully as chapters release, we’ll get to see this romance show it’s true pedals … … Again, not that I would know. Check it out for yourself.

A real ride!

Okay, so I think there’s a lot to like here. Your scope is grandiose, ethereal even in how you’re seemingly reincarnating this character, samsara-like throughout history. Not to mention some of these visuals are really great! Where I run into trouble is the pacing and format. The format has changed from second-person to omniscient to what I can only describe as comic strip format in the span of three chapters. I think you should really hit the brakes, choose a point of view, and reconsider what you want this story to be, because some of this imagery is truly stellar.

Solid Flash Fiction

You get exactly what you expect from the blurb, with a little more. The author set themselves in a position where this lone soldier, literally, is talking to himself and has to carry the emotional weight, to which he does quite well. There were many times I was wowed by the imagery, painting this sullen farewell among many others lost. I will say in terms of narrative, I didn’t feel the scene come together because I feel like I never got to know this tragedy. Being our only character, I think it would help to show him ruminate more than just the war with the departed. However, the emotional core is brimming and there is a lot to like about this short and bittersweet scene.