Saffhira

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A mystical beginning

This was a good start to what will likely be a great story. There are new and different characters, and even though there are many familiar and classic magical creatures, the author puts just a tiny spin on them to keep them from being a cookie-cutter version.

One of the biggest things I would comment on is the flow of this. It seems a little rushed at times, like the author is fighting to get everything on paper before the ideas can leave her mind. I definitely know the feeling.

Assuming everything is written to her liking, now would be the time to go back and flesh out the book a little. Slow it down just enough for the reader to catch up and react with the character, and then have action to keep our attention going.

Overall, there are run-on sentences and grammatical things that can be improved, but once these are all addressed, the potential of this work will skyrocket.

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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Good novel

This novel starts out strong to let you know exactly what it's about and gets right into all sorts of concepts and view points to get the reader thinking about what they may think of the subject matter.

There are definitely a lot of characters to keep up with, so that could be a downfall for some people, but as long as they can keep up and keep everyone straight, that will be a plus.

There were some issues with spelling and grammar, however, running this through a software like Grammarly or having someone look it over should catch the mistakes.

I enjoyed having to think about what I was reading and how my own experiences shape how I view the subject matter, so I appreciated the thinking opportunity.

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An interesting and frightening recount

There isn't much I can say since this is a story told by another, not from the author's own mind. It could have done with less capitalizing of the people and things had by the children, and explanations to flesh out the story for people unfamiliar with the words would be helpful.

A little bit of extra punctuation is needed as well to make this flow even better, but overall, since this is a witness account, it's a good story to have told.

- Author of Hollow's Charge

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A Captivating Tale

This was a different take on fantasy from the very beginning, and it definitely worked. The descriptions were lovely, and the characters were knowingly different from the other. The writing style had a nice flow, and emotions were written well.

There was a slight lag in the pace as we near the middle of the story, but it does pick up eventually, and we are given even more to experience and think about as the story unfolds. The grammar and punctuation were nice in this, which was refreshing to see.

The only thing I was a little hesitant on was the betrayal scene. It seemed a bit abrupt with one character turning a complete 180 during this. It sort of left me questioning the necessity of it. I will have more in the comment section as I don't wish to leave any spoilers in the review.

Overall, this was a completely enjoyable book, and I wholeheartedly recommend it for anyone to read.

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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Very good spy novel!

I thoroughly enjoyed this book! The plot started a little slow, and the pace wasn't as quick in the beginning, but once things get going, it's hard to put this down. There's action, mystery, humor, and the characters are fleshed out well.

This could use some work with spelling and grammar. Having a beta reader or a proofreader go over this would improve it greatly, and the book will be that much better.

I will watch for updates from this author and recommend this to anyone who wants a good read.

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Great story!

This was an intriguing, thought-provoking book that allowed us a chance to see how one person (or version) could have such a profound effect on the lives of so many people.

In describing the criminal aspect, it was almost like reading an episode of CSI, where everything is explained in due time and in a way that is understandable without being too dumbed down.

I enjoyed every aspect of this book and recommend it to anyone who likes this sort of scifi/metaphysical take on life and the possibilities that could exist.

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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Nice Start

From what I read, the story does have an interesting plot. The beginning was a little confusing on where it all fit, and it seemed a little abrupt at how all the characters met.

As readers, we seem to know a little more about the other characters than the main guy. It's not clear who he is, though that could be the whole premise, in which case it leaves the reader interested to learn.

The style of writing is different, as well as in the narration and introduction of everyone. It was a nice read altogether, and I'd be interested to know where it goes from here.

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Highly emotional

From the little I've read, I can tell this will be a heart-wrenching, emotional roller coaster. It's likely to be a novel that lets us look at life differently and be grateful for what we have for as long as we have it.

The emotions, descriptions, and characters are believable and executed very well. It's a novel I'm willing to follow, and I'm definitely interested to see what the author has in store for us down the road.

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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Very different!

I was impressed by the new concept of this novel! It's like nothing I've read before, and it's like a breath of fresh air. The characters are varied and interesting, and even when we think we're at the end, there's more info and characters to keep our curiosity going. The descriptions are lovely, and you get to experience everything with the Guardians.

Highly recommended read!

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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Wow

This was truly a unique and remarkable work. Everything and everyone is complete in their description, and the detail is clever and very well done. There almost seems no clear-cut personality to the characters, and so we're left to wonder what they might do when faced with the various challenges.

It's a refreshing tale that is highly recommended.

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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A good mystery

There's definitely mystery that makes a reader wonder what's going on and if any of the characters are involved in the strange happenings. We get a little bit of background with some of the characters, though not much. However, the book is not finished yet, so more has yet to be revealed.

There were some spots where grammar could be improved on, and if seemed like there were some words used that were not necessarily reflecting what the author was trying to convey. Also, there were a lot of "Ums" used in the dialogue, and that was a bit distracting. Even though these are all teenagers, I think the dialogue could be played with a little.

It's definitely a strong start, and it can only get better from here.

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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OK plot

I think the plot was the best part of this story. It could be a little laggy at times and then jump weeks ahead in others, so there was a lot to follow. It was a little confusing as well with the last names, Mr. This and Mrs. That. I'm not sure there was quite enough description to separate them in our minds.

I do agree that you should seek either a proofreader or a website like Grammarly to improve your writing. This will be beneficial for your book and readers so they aren't trying to interpret what you're saying.

There were parts that confused me, especially when talking about the year of the car crash. I believe you said it was in the 1800s, which obviously automobiles were not around then, so I do suggest going back and making sure everything agrees with one another.

All in all, a good base that needs some improvement to be a great book. Good luck!

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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Action-packed book

This certainly had lots of action in it from the beginning where we get a glimpse of what's happening over a span of many, many years. It's almost head-spinning how fast it is.

I liked the characters and the concept of the Test and what's at stake, both good and bad. I just think we were pulled in a little quickly, as was the main character. It was explained thoroughly, but then our reaction and the main character's only seemed to sync in the beginning when we get his initial reaction. When it comes time for the Test, he seems to have accepted it rather abruptly.

The grammar and punctuation in this was very good, which I am happy to see.

Overall, the pace was almost lightning speed. We go from zero to one hundred, and it almost takes away from the emotional repercussions the Test has on people. If there are spots that can be found to slow it down a little, I believe this would be beneficial.

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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Full of detail

The one thing I can definitely say is that this book is full of description. It's almost lyrical and poetic in the way we're allowed to see the people and surroundings. The plot was fed through dialogue where we gradually got to see the connection between the two prominent characters.

There were some instances of switched words, missing words, misspellings, and places where the author was a little comma happy. A quick polish would be useful.

While the author had a fantastic grip on adjectives to describe everything, I do believe there were a handful of words that were used over and over again. If some synonyms were thrown in, it would render the book less redundant. I couldn't help but start looking for these words every time I saw them just because there were so many instances.

Overall, this was a great piece that could use a bit of honing to make it incredible.

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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A dark and intriguing tale

I was pleasantly surprised by the way the supernatural is weaved into the world, sometimes clashing with humans in ways they do not understand or even comprehend. The beginning was a great hook, and everything was explained in due time. The mystery behind everything is unraveled in a nice, flowing way, and it sets a good pace.

The narration threw me off a little as the first-person narrator seems to be omnipotent, which is not something I've seen before. If that was the intention, then it was pulled off without a hitch.

A once-over would do this book good to fix some missing words here and there as well as some other grammar issues.

It was a good story with memorable characters and descriptions to the people and places starring in it, and I would recommend it to anyone who wishes a thrilling read. .

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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Very unique and wonderful poetry

Your poems are a myriad of simple and singular language woven together to evoke thoughts and images in our minds. It was greatly done, and I really enjoyed it. Much of these words I had never heard before, so it was sort of a lesson while reading as well. It's always nice to discover new things, especially about our own language that we just don't while in school.

Definitely recommended for anyone who enjoys this sort of airy and deep prose.

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A great adventure!

I loved this book. It was raw and real, and you got to connect on a personal level with the characters. There was a great cast, and the reader really got to see growth from them throughout. There was even a great cast of supporting characters to help guide the readers through the goings-on in other parts of this world, and it really brought everything together.

The detail was great and the actions and reactions were believable and well written, even down to the varied speech reflecting each character's education level and from where they hailed.

A once-over might not be a bad idea since there were some parts where you could tell two ideas came together about the right word or phrase, and then both ended up on the page. This is an easy fix, and it'll make this even sharper.

All in all, I absolutely recommend this to fantasy lovers!

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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An enjoyable beginning

I was hesitant at first by the two different points of view in every chapter, but I've come to like the conversational tone that opens them. The descriptions are short, succinct, and get to the point to bring you a clear picture of the places and characters in them. It is fast-paced, and the reader needs to really pay attention to the names of people and gangs thrown out there to keep everyone in place.

There were some grammar issues, words that needed to be capitalized and some that were missing letters. There was also some repetition when it came to the assassin's name that could be adjusted as well.

I think as a package, this book has great potential. It's intriguing and gripping in all the right parts.

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A great sequel for Emily Tual

The second book in this series goes into greater detail behind the motivation of the Black Hand and why Emily is so important. It's interesting that there comes int light yet another who could have taken Emily's place, and so the reader is left wondering what the author would do with this new character.

There were still similar issues in this book as there were in the last. I would recommend the author look into how to punctuate conversations. There were some missing words here and there, and also some parts where ideas clashed as to which word was the right one to put.

I liked the detail we got in this book, and the pace was kept throughout the entirety, I'm looking forward to reading the next book.

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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An intriguing start

From this one chapter, there's no true way to tell where this story is going, though we get a hint of something at the end that piques the curiosity. I can't comment much on the plot since there isn't much to go on at this stage, but it is a promising start.

The blurb itself was a bit redundant with the opening phrase "Among the planets." Perhaps running some of these sentences together or even eliminating a few would make for a better hook for readers. There were some grammar issues and places where names and titles could be capitalized, but these are easy fixes.

I liked much of the description. We get a sense of people and what the main character sees and experiences.

Once there are more chapters out, this has the potential to be an enjoyable read.

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Needs some fleshing

There's a good plot here that could be played with a little. I agree with others who have said that there is a whole host of repetition, grammar and punctuation need to be worked on, and that only describing someone as "Mr. Tual" or "The man with the German accent" can make your reader's eyes cross a little.

For grammar, there were misspelled or misplaced words, but the biggest one for me is that every time you write in quotes, you use a comma inside the quotes before identifying the speaker, unless it's a question.

Example. "I was asking how you were," Mandy said.
VS.
"How are you?" Mandy asked.
When a quote is followed by he/she/it, they do not need to be capitalized.

Fleshing out your descriptions, working on grammar/punctuation, and learning when and where to reveal your bad guys and/or plot twists will improve this dramatically.

I wish you luck on this and other ventures.

-Author of Hollow's Charge

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Interesting Concept

The descriptions of the characters and places were OK in that you could tell what was being talked about, and each character had their own personality to set them apart. I had a feeling before the explanation at the end that this was based off and/or inspired by anime.

The plot was sort of all over the place. The beginning was a little slow and because of the long chapters, I felt like a needed a break between each of them before I continued. If these were shortened, I believe it would help ease the flow for the readers and make them want to go to the next chapter right away.

Another thing was I wasn't sure this could even be considered a fantasy until the arrival of the faeries. Without them, this could be considered an action/sci fi book with all its bionic and warring content.

The love triangle was an interesting touch, but switching back and forth between those struggles and the random missions the main character was sent on could get confusing and a little description heavy.

There were some missing words I found here and there, and greater emphasis could be placed on grammar and punctuation, however these are easy fixes.

All in all, it wasn't a bad start. I couldn't give it higher than three stars because of the confusion I felt and the long chapters. I do hope this feedback helps in the future and I wish the best for the author!

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Great Ride!

This was a great book from beginning to end. So many characters can be overwhelming at first, but stick with it and you're able to work out who's who. The author did well with drip-feeding info and surprising me with twists I didn't guess. The ending was fulfilling and didn't leave anything hanging.

The description and detail was enthralling in this, and there was no doubt as to who or what was being discussed.

I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting a thriller that will leave you guessing till the very end.

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Enjoyable read

I liked the way emotions were captured in this book. There were vivid descriptions of everything, especially the dreams. The ending brought a nice twist that nevertheless left it bittersweet.

There were some issues with misspellings and grammar, but these did not seem to distract much from the book. The writing style was clear, and the dialogue believable.

Overall, I enjoyed this book and the interesting way it all turned out.

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Engaing Concept

I like the idea behind this: It definitely has the potential to be a great story. I don't get too much of a first impression of the main character because it is so short right now, but the readers do get a small sense of who they're dealing with.

Grammar and punctuation needs work, but that is always something that can be fixed. It would be worthless without a good plot to accompany it, which is not something this author needs to worry about.

The conversational tone of this story is interesting. It's not necessarily my favorite, but it isn't really a big turn off for me either.

Overall, it was a nice start and has great potential to become more.

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Good Plot

I enjoyed the plot of this. There were dynamic characters and it was funny and entertaining. The romance is taken slow and given some time to develop, and the personalities of the characters throughout this process is one of mutual respect, which I find refreshing in romance.

There are many grammatical and punctuation issues I noticed. It definitely would do the author some good to have an editor go over this and polish the product so nothing gets lost for people who tend to focus on any errors they may find.

Overall, it was a very interesting read and is a nice change from the everyday supernatural.

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