Interesting and cute 🥰
I like the plot it's intriguing and it got me hooked, like dude! Idk which one to root for would I go to team Collin? Liam? or Dave? 😱 I also like your writing style IDK but it reminds me of the high school drama script that our teachers used to give to us If you know what I'm talking about. 🙃🙂
Read the story now
I've noticed things that you might want to improve.
First: there are some grammar mistakes but don't worry it will get better in time and it still doesn't stop the story from being interesting to read. I suggest you install the Grammarly app.it would help you correct and improve your grammar and punctuation, it's a really good app I'm using it too. 😉
Second: the lack of using adjectives. I mean you introduce your characters you state their names but you didn't describe them. Like how they look; their facial structures, postures how tall are they, etc..try to illustrate your characters more, show/express their emotions more. By characterizing them it would help your readers to imagine them and would make them more realistic. Same with the surroundings try to further explain what's happening around. Again just described it like how you see it in your mind or how you imagine, this would make your story more relatable and realistic.
P.s Just continue what you are doing, just keep on writing because you have the talent and I hope this review helps. I know I'm definitely not perfect in writing and my story has flaws in it, but all I want to do is to share what I have learned from my journey in penning to others. 🥰🥰🥰