SalemGothic

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Heart Lucy

I was not really the right audience for this story, but I certainly love Lucifer, so, why not?

This thing reminded me of a Saturday morning cartoon with gore. The story certainly was very versatile, with a little bit of everything mashed together. It was pretty funny, too. Things like Jack the Ripper shot in the face had me chuckling a bit.

I didn't think it made much sense for Niroc to be given the title Lucifer (which means light bringer, enlightener) for breaking the rules of Heaven, but, whatever.

The writing was pretty rough, though. Needs much more editing.

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Poor hair...

The beginning made me groan inwardly, thinking this was going to be a moral lecture about how you shouldn't care for or appreciate superficial things. I'm very glad that didn't turn out to be the case.

While the subject matter here was not of the kind of story I would normally go for, but this quick read was definitely very well written. Maybe the characters could have used a little more fleshing out, as they weren't really anybody, but then again, maybe it's great for them to take the backseat and leave the limelight for the real protagonist of the story; you did manage to make me feel bad for that beautiful hair.

I noticed this sentence was missing a space after the comma:
...break down the door,she meant it.

And here I would personally place the comma after "different" instead.
...different and, maybe even stronger.

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