I have read quite a bit of this, although not all, and I really enjoy it! I think that there are definitely some things that can be approved upon, but otherwise the story is really good. The plot is fantastic, and overall, it's great! Things that you should probably watch out for:
Read the story now
-Dialogue. Some people may have already pointed this out, but I wanted to quickly say that for being adults, some of them speak like teenagers. Also, the way some characters talk does not match their personality/job/how they were written very well.
-Details. Maybe a bit more description of where characters are, or what they look like, etc. I just don't feel like I'm necessarily there with the characters. I know that this is a hard thing to achieve, but if you ever have time to thoroughly edit this, maybe do that. I think that this story can improve a lot if you just keep an eye on that.
-Perspectives. You tend to switch perspectives quickly and without warning. When it is in Thaddeus' (I think that's how you spell it) perspective, you can read Millicent's thoughts.
There is a lot more of what I love, though. Here are some of those things:
-Character development. You can really see how authentic these characters, and it proves that you have poured a lot into making them.
-Plot. You can see all the intricate details that make up the plot, and there are plot twists everywhere I look! I, personally, love plot twists.
-Just the writing in general. You have a great way of writing and getting points across without sounding blunt and/or emotionless.
-Life. You can practically feel the life the characters have. The emotions, the conflict, the way they react to situations. It is all very authentic, and I can relate to the characters (sort of, but I don't live in their world) in some senses.
Other than those few things, I love this story! Great work, keep it up!