I like your story :)
Read the story now
I can't give a review on the overall story yet, so I'll be neutral about that, but I noticed some errors where you mix up the times. e.g.:
"So, after a lot of agonizing and unending sacrifices, nothing could stop her from letting him know---that day.
If she can figure out how--- that is."
You're writing in past-tense most of the time, but then you jump back into the present sporadically, you have to stick with one until you change the time in the story, for example when she's in the Three broomsticks it's in the present and when she's thinking back, in the past, or just everything in the past :D Overall it's a good story, I just wanted to point that out :D