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The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

I liked the idea of your blurb. The idea that something has plagued her for so long and despite becoming an adult, she still couldn't understand a problem from her childhood? It's interesting. It's shown in the last part of the chapter and leaves an air of mystery about it.

Do we know the name of the main character? I couldn't seem to find it.

The grammar could do with some work. 'I' always has a capital, regardless if it's in the middle of a sentence. You also capitalized words in their entirety to emphasise them, there's no need for that. You can use italics sparingly or exclamation marks also sparingly. Also, there are a few times where you capitalised the beginning of a word that wasn't needed.

There are a few issues with your tensing throughout, but with a quick edit that can be fixed. Same with dialogue tags.

"JAIME, you have called for a war", i shouted from behind.

So, you'd want that dialogue to look like this: "Jaime, you have called for a war," I shouted from behind.

Thanks for sharing this story. I look forward to reading more from you. :)

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