Need more expedition
There isn’t really much I can review when the story is in such an early stage. I can’t give strong opinions because they might change in the near future, but I’ll still try to add a few thoughts.
Read the story now
First things first I’d like to say that there are a lot of grammatical errors in the story and it’s quite distracting, but on the other hand, I am in favor of your pacing. Nothing has necessarily dragged so far, but at the same time, none of the scenes seem to linger enough for me to leave an impression on any of the main characters or side characters that we meet throughout these first few chapters.￼ Again, it’s kind of hard to say something like this because there’s only two chapters.
So far we are already starting to dig into the main part of the story, which is the arranged marriage. This is just my opinion but I feel like the main character has some Mary Sue attributes. It makes it harder for me to relate to her. Her mom is gorgeous with pretty blonde hair, hazel eyes, and a envious figure, our main is also described quite similarly, she’s able to order a black dress that’s been scheduled to arrive in a few hours in perfect condition, one of her family friends I think must also be rich because she drives a black Porsche, her dad is what I assume to be a wealthy businessman, they go to a dinner party to meet two handsome guys that are around the main characters age and unfortunately she is forced marry one of these handsome guys who are also most likely very wealthy. This is all happens almost immediately after she graduates from college with straight A’s and a business degree. Then again this could all change because this all happened in only two chapters.
I have to say I look forward to what kind of drama the story is going to have since drama is the main genre of the story instead of romance. The description leaves a lot of clues, but I am expecting this to be a dramatic romance which I really can’t give my opinion on because of my bias against ya romance novels￼. Again, I said this so many times￼, 😂😂 I can’t assume or make a strong opinion towards anything because there’s only two chapters in the story, I cannot stress that enough. I encourage you to keep writing this because the story could really keep you on the edge of your seat, especially for people who really enjoy romantic story arcs. This story has a lot of potential and I hope that you update soon!! 💕💕🦋🦋