Constructive Criticism + What You Did Well :D
Wow! I would love for you to continue your book. Maybe more short stories about yourself! I really like the concept of a compilation of interesting things that have happened in your life, instead of a story about somebody made up, or, well, not yourself. Now, I’ve decided to give you some constructive criticism to help your book, since I like it so much!
Read the story now
1.) Maybe try using more punctuation. I, myself, struggle with this one, often using to many commas and not enough periods ;~;
2.) Maybe try using more details. I understood what you were trying to convey, and everything made since. However, to make it more rich, put as many details as possible (except for personal stuff that you don’t feel comfortable with writing/sharing. Do what you want xp)
3.) This is my last one. This one is more of a suggestion, than constructive criticism, but i feel as though it could drastically change things for the better. \(’>`)/. Maybe try writing this like a short story. First person point of view. Kind of like in my book. You could write an entire short story about the bee attack, which I feel as though would be a better read, instead of just explaining it briefly, then moving on. It kind of ties back to the details.
XD You don’t have to use any of this. No hate. I’m only posting this because I would like to see you improve! :)