Man and Magic Review
I read the Man and Magic novella, and overall, it was really good! I enjoyed the world and found it extremely interesting. I personally am not very tactically minded, but I feel as though the battle scenes, particularly where Xavier used his powers, were explained very well. The description of God was particularly good, and the idea of God giving Xavier his powers was interesting.
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While the world was great, and battles were descriptive, my biggest criticism lies in the characters. They felt a bit flat to me, especially Xavier and Alara. What makes them unique from anyone else? What defines them, what are their motivations, why do they do the things they do, why should I root for them? None of the characters felt defined. None of them really felt like they could be differentiated from the others.
While your ending was nice, it didn't really feel like a proper pay off. The king turning on his best friend so suddenly also felt a bit off, as far as how he had been established beforehand. Again, the characters were undefined, so Xavier choosing Alara also didn't feel like a proper pay off. If we saw more of their relationship, and really saw why they loved each other, it would feel more powerful when they were separated and then reunited.
Your plot was good but, in my opinion, characters are what makes the plot worth caring about. I just want to say that I understand that it can be hard to give characters their own unique voice, especially in such a fantastical setting. As you've said in your review of my book, writing is hard. I understand that this is a novella based on another series of yours, so maybe these characters are all established in one of those books.
Again, your book was good overall. There were a few mistakes, but given how long each chapter was, that's understandable. None of them were overly distracting. Good job! Please keep writing, and I look forward to reading more of your books!