overall the story has a nice plot, but the book can be confusing, during the story you made zero use of quotation marks when the characters where talking, it was very hard to read it because of that, it would be more convenient to use quotation marks when people are talking as it gives the book a nicer, neater and more enticing look. i also felt that you were rushing a bit in the story as you left out details that would make readers feel like they were actually saher. when people read books they want to feel like they can visualize everything. when you said she took in the beautiful scene in chapter one you should have emphasized on how the scenery was beautiful, you could've mentioned the flowers or the gardens or even statues and podiums , you could've given the place a landscape.
Read the story now