Alicia Villasenor

Southern California area

Hi! Well I love writing speculative fiction with paranormal themes and scifi elements that I draw inspiration for from news, life stories, and the question of "what if." My poetry is candid humor.

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Good story line and I'd like to read what happens next

I like the story line so far and the mystery surrounding why her boyfriend vanished. I wonder if it's somehow tied to the murders and the mystery guy who just bumped into her at the end of chapter 2. I can see how others are confused with chapter 1 because there's a lot of "backstory" and flashbacks crammed into a single chapter. She doesn't just go over one memory, she goes over several, one right after the other. In addition, there's the traveling but we're not clear on why they did all the traveling. I think this story shows a lot of promise and interesting story line. Just needs to be edited and restructured in a way that the reader can seemlinessly move from one memory to the next without getting lost in chapter 1.

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Like an old movie

Correct me if I'm wrong but this is all happening in the same day, right? Everything is moving really fast (same day) yet the characters act as if they've been investigating for weeks and they've grown closer over time but there really hasn't been much of a time lapse. Why is it called the Trident? Is that something that is going to be revealed later? It reminds me of an old movie, even the acting of the characters and I actually see this in black and white in my mind, almost like Dick Tracy.

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Interesting mix of shorts

My favorite out of all of them was First Meeting because I think it's the most thought-provoking and makes you wonder what the character is thinking and why they are jumping to their death. I think with some editing, these could be better such as letting the reader know who Icarus is since not everyone is familiar with mythology and develop scenery and senses a litte more.

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