amoikin

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good start

The plot line is pretty decent. It definitely kept my interest, especially after the 3rd chapter. There's not a strong focus on description but you get enough for a picture. While there are parts that seem a bit rushed, it can build up to be a decent story.

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Not too shabby

The summary of the story is interesting and I want to see how it unfolds from the first two chapters. The main character seems a bit harsh. I can't say I like her or dislike her, but I would like to see how she develops as the story goes on. A plus point of this story is the details. You get enough of a picture without it seeming over done, which I like. What could be better is the flow of the story. At the moment, it doesn't seem the most natural. Overall, it's a decent start and I look forward to more.

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