There was lots to love about this, I found myself very engaged and rewarded in so many different ways, I have only recently started writing myself so am more given to overall impression than in depth analysis, this is what I found. I loved the name choices and the way the characters were developed, you did this in a way that helped me to visualise them, gave them history, quirks and memorable personalities. In fact I liked Pierre and Ash enough to want to go on reading about them as main characters. If only you could keep them alive. I mourned. They deserved a better future, to get out of it somehow, a close scrape with death. Really interesting position with the heartless woman in chapter two creating him in her dead child's image. I have seen a similar idea used before, but I have to say you worked it in a unique way and pulled it off more successfully. I would happily read the whole book, yes, the previous comment about alternating seems sound to me. Well done, I enjoyed it.
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