Yasmin C

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Rough

As of writing this review, this story has three reviews with five stars in every category. I do not understand why. I decided to give this story a read (despite the summary explaining a crucial plot point) because I know that a story with a cliche plot can still be good if the characters are well written and developed, and it was categorized as a Romantic/Thriller, so something could happen that I would never expect. However, "The Day You Said Hello" seems to me to be the rough draft of what could be a good romance story. The characters are very one dimensional and go through no real characterization or development. The pacing in the first chapter was so jarring that it took me three hours to trudge through it, only for it to continue throughout the rest of the story. I didn't know how much time has passed for most of this story. There is no thrilling element to this story. It would be a better fit in the Drama/Romance section and would actually reach the correct audience. The descriptions of the fancy places sound like they come right out of a history book or a promotional pamphlet. Some of the sentences do not sound right because some words are missing, misplaced, or the sentence itself is fragmented. It happened enough to disengage me from the already weak stimulation that this story gave me. Most of these problems are associated with this story being all tell and no show. We are told the main character's life story and personality by the author in the passages of the first chapter. Not only that, but their written character does not support what we (the audience) are told. All we know is that Monica is beautiful, Mark is a hot, young CEO that is hopelessly in love with Monica, and that Mike is a hot, young 'doctor' who wants all of his brother's beautiful property. Despite Monica winning the beauty contest, we don't hear anything specific about her duties as Miss Intercontinental, or her relationship with the other contestants, or even some struggles she went through in order to get this position that covets beautiful, deep women.
Personally, I don't mind reading cliches. Instant romances are nearly impossible to not get on someone's nerves, but love triangles can be intriguing if done in an interesting way. What I do mind is reading badly written stories. To me, this was a badly written story.

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