Bea West-Israel

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<3

Your writing is beautiful--sharp, and it's almost too tempting to read ahead because I see all those one-liner paragraphs, haha. Mature/strong sentences, really lovely setup, and crazy interesting subject. The Way seemed like a good healthy tradition, and then it seemed like an Orwellian commentary on following the beaten path, and then it seemed like maybe a metaphor for life. Haha I absolutely loved it.
I want to know what's in the egg!! If anything, that was the only reason I was discontent at the end. You're gonna make me go write my own continuation of it, just to figure it out (;

Good luck on the contests! I'm voting for this one!

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beautiful!

The voice was what caught me about this one--I suppose it's too early to be talking about plot and characterization, but it's chock full of little character tidbits (the I-love-you was awesome--you didn't try to make it dramatic, more true to life) and the narration/style is really fascinating. It's sort of brief, sort of poetic, and the pattern of short/snappy sentences is what made it really pretty to read. Especially captivating as a first chapter (:
Good luck! Keep doin what you're doin!

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