blanq

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The young foreigner

You have an interesting plot and the world you've created is amazing. My only problem was the way the story was told. We want you to show us not tell us. When you tell and not show us it begins to get boring. I'm also facing similar issue and is yet to overcome it. Just keep writing you'll notice the changes yourself self as you progress. All the same nice work. I hope you continue writing.

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Amazing piece

Your story has great potential. This could expand to become something really intense. I've just read the first chapter and I love it. Your character introduction are great. Keep it up.

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Great piece

This story has great potential. The description of your main character,her life and relations are amazing. I didn't have any issue with your story. Great story.

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interesting

i really like your characters. and the title of your novel is also very nice.
overall i think your novel is great and would like to read more

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Beautiful piece

I loved everything about it. I was hooked from the start. Beautiful piece. Your writing style is amazing. Keep it and never stop writing it.

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Amazing

I liked everything about it. Your writing style is really good and I enjoyed reading it.

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Nice work

You have an amazing novel. My only problem was that, I couldn't tell how your main character looked like. I don't know if he is fair or dark, I think you get what I mean. And also some grammatical errors( who doesn't have those) all the same great work. I really like the description of your surroundings.

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Nice

I like where your story Is going. I like the description of your world. There were few grammar errors but who doesn't have them? All the same great piece you have there. I'd love to read it anytime it comes out.

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nice story

well i agree your stury is moving fast but all the same i like your character description. and also your first persson view is actually reall good

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nice story

Wow! i loved your it. the character description, the names of the characters, the vivid description of the towns and their capital, DAMN keep it

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amazing piece

sorry for the late review.
i really like your setting. and your characters are also lovable. i really love your airavata charcter. he reminds me alot of my character Magnus.
overall nice piece. and i would read it any day it comes out.
keep it up

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