This story is a good read for those wanting drama and passion.
Read the story now
Plot - The tragedy of Alena husband is heartbreaking and discovering that he was murdered is a shock. It is interesting to see this kind of story where the woman is in charge instead of the man. Good to have a mistress! However, I think that it is rushed. There needs to be more of a build-up of tension to keep the reader gripped. I know it is erotica, but it does make me a bit confused that Alena who is supposed to be still struggling with the death of her husband suddenly jumping on Quentin. The part where she says her husband's name instead is tragic, but it needs to be built up more. Yes, she is kind, but there is no way she should be making out with him in seconds. She should be being a little cold with him before she thaws out by passion. Build it up! Tease the reader more!
Characters - Alena is sweet. You can see she is truly broken-hearted by her loss and crying out for love. It is clear Quentin has been through some hardships also and needs love too. Jonathan, I am suspicious of, I think we need to know a little more about him.
Setting - The setting of this story is blurry. It is not at all clear what time period this story is set in. At first, going off the way Alena speaks you may think it is the turn of the century, but then you learn of modern technology which makes it unclear. The society around her with the rich people and bodyguards and the black market makes you wonder if it set in some kind of dystopian future. Also there are times where there could be more description for the setting just to help the reader picture the world the story is set in.
Grammar + Punctuation - Perfect.
Writing style - I feel there are times where you need to look at the layout of sentences to help them flow better. Some are too long and need to be broken up, others need to be changed to flow better and fit in with the whole of the paragraph better, Also there are times were some paragraphs are too small and could be brought together with other paragraphs.
Intro/Description thing - It needs to tell the reader a little more. Alena's full name, other stuff the black market sells, whereabouts in the world the farm and the story is set. Also the wording of the intro needs to be looked at again. It goes from talking about Alena's sister-in-law to the farm which feels shoe-horned in awkwardly.