Was ist deine Meinung?
Love it
"Love the story line and the plots. Love your writing style as well. Well done! Can’t wait to read more of your books ❤️"
Good ideas, but needs refining
"Dear author, I like the general idea of the story. Throughout the chapters you can see growth in your writing style. There are a lot of repetitions though: throughout the story e.g. "18, ...", "the oak leaf pendant...", the love making, but also within each chapter e.g. "a thread of spit...". Sometimes I got the impression a number of descriptions and actions were copied for each chapter and reused. The initial chapters read as if they were short stories: introduction, middle and end. Throughout the story I see improvement which I hope continues till the end. I would suggest to make a list of descriptions and alternatives to be used. A few questions... only in 1 chapter you mention there are other trainees in the Mansion where you want to emphasize the contrast in attention Rein gives Nia versus the other trainees. Wouldn't Nia meet these other trainees on other occasions during her month in the Mansion? Could she have some interactions with them? You build the story around a change/growth in Nia's character, wouldn't she grow in other areas than just her sexual maturity? Also, the Elders play a great role in the beginning and end of the story... where is their role in the Mansion? They seem to have/want a say in every marriage and preparation, so why not there? Now I get the impression the Mansion does not completely fits in this whole "chaste, controlled environment". How did Rein get his "qualifications"? How did he earn the trust from the parents, Elders, grooms to "prepare" the future brides for their roles toward their husbands? Is he the only "trainer" there? Nia's mother, who probably has been trained there as well so knowing what goes on in there, would never allow her daughter to go to this "one Man's brothel" without any involvement of the Elders. How could you make this work? I hope this helps improve your writing."
