Dismai Naim

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Great concept that needs work

seems like there's an interesting story in there if you can get past the rookie mistakes

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Full and predictable

I stayed for two chapters. After the first I thought it would be boring, but I read the second just in case and wasn't disappointed.

The author starts off with pure expository, and a perfunctory introduction of characters that come off as bland and formulaic. Then we meet the guy, who's poorly described given his place in the story. The author then switches to his POV to erase any semblance of conflict she had left, and I gave up at that point.

There are some typos and awkward phrasing, so I'm going to assume this is a rough draft.

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