dmage23

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Dan Mage

Good storytelling that invited the reader to seek further explanations. The political messages are all too real but perhaps should be buried deeper in the plot itself rather than spoken openly in the dialogue?

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Dan Mage

I am very much looking forward to the next chapter. This is all very real, fiction or not. The reason for the medium rating on technical quality just means that you need to keep editing. This type of writing, that let's the reader look into places they know exist but would not dare venture into is rare and valuable. I really hope you keep going with this.

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