dvonparker3x

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Fun Tale

Really like your writing style. I enjoyed the thief's point of view and his character over all. Your descriptions set the scenes very well and never got too wordy or overdone. Was nice to see very few grammar issues, really makes it more enjoyable to read when you don't have to translate. Well done.

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Interesting Story Idea

The over all plot is very interesting. You have created a world with a lot of possibilities but the story was too short to explore them extensively. Good characters, some of the detailed description of their clothing was unnecessary and sentence structure was off in some places. I liked the twist at the end, very dark and unexpected. My biggest issue was the lack of editing. I found myself stumbling through sentences and rereading them. Cathy is Carter a few times. Overall a interesting story with some lore that can be expanded on.

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HOT

Great character development for a short story. Brit and Tom are believable tho I was surprised when Brit gets dominate near the end. Big fan of MFM so it was nice to see that. Glad it had a happy ending for all. I was afraid Des was going to be left out.
You should do a sequel for sure.
All your stories have been great. Keep it up.

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Fun and erotic.

The plot is fun and erotic. Great build up and character development, just a touch of drama. I really like the change in point of view, very dynamic. Good read. Ready for more.

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