Elena.R

Their Screams Are Silent

The beginning of your story, where you grasp the attention of your readers was actually really good, but I feel that there should of been almost like an introduction paragraph to the characters. It was like you went straight into the story without really giving the characters a build up. When you give readers a more thorough build up of a character it is more likely they will remember their names throughout the story. Some readers may read a book and will get to the next couple of chapters and forget which character is which because their wasn't really enough backstory. Towards the end of the story I felt it was a little weak, but it still grasped the attention of your readers. It was mysterious and got the point across to your readers. I felt like you should of included a party scene with Delilah and Grayson and then later on Delilah going home and then finding out that her sister was taken by The Windigo. The chapter was still really good and attracted my attention but the chapter in a way was too short and there wasn't enough information given to the readers, basically too many questions. Like, "What stereotype is Delilah in High School?". I would work on transitions and maybe draw it out, putting more detail in so readers know where the characters are and the relationships/friendships they have in High School Overall the plot was really good and your story was pretty good as well. I like the character of Grayson, a humorous character. The relationship between Grayson and Delilah was clearly evident to the readers and it was quite cute. Readers could feel and envision the shyness Grayson felt in the one scene of your book where Delilah mentions him liking her. That was a good scene along with the ending which makes readers want to know more and want to read the next chapter. Keep up the good work and please don't take my constructive criticism to heart. I'm just trying to tell you my personal opinion, but if you love the book the way it is there is no need to change it. Have a terrific day and I look forward to reading more of your book.

Messages

Overall this story was very well written and never strayed away from the plot. This story was vividly written for readers to be able to envision the events that were taking place with each character. The author wrote this story for readers to truly feel the feelings that the characters were going through. There is mystery that keeps the readers wanting more. Readers will try to make their own assumptions of what will happen to each character. This gives a supernatural appeal as well and gives you a creepy outlook on the medium. The author thoroughly wrote this chapter very well and I would recommend this story to anyone who enjoys mystery/suspense.

Stunning Work

I honestly really enjoyed this book and the world you have created. The choice of words you use really gets the reader sucked into your realm of characters. Demeter is a well-made character overall and you really get to know his character as well as others. It's almost as if they are real people and we are reading about their journey. You also made sure to keep readers wanting more and wondering about a lot of things to keep us hooked.

Grammar was honestly not a huge issue for me, but a quick read through can easily fix that. There were a few run-on sentences and some sentences that you wrote and a few bland sentences. If you went back and tried to add a bit more to the simple sentences that would be a big game-changer. You're already great at really giving the readers enough detail for them to truly imagine the world you have created which I really enjoyed.

The plot of your story was great in my opinion. I can't wait to know more about Isabelle and a few other characters to help the overall plot become even better. Your story is coming together quite nicely and you really know how to keep readers wanting more. Especially with those cliffhangers. I really enjoy your writing style and I think this will be a book I continue to look back to. Definitely would recommend to other writers and readers for inspiration and joy.