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Has potential, but executed childishly

Like the title says, "Ralph the Jinn" has the potential to be charming, funny, and perhaps even deep. But it does none of those things. Unfortunately, Ralph the Jinn is plagued with a juvenile writing style and an unfortunately overly colloquial and boring story. It has potential no doubt, and I have no doubt in my mind that with further revisions and polishing, it will shine. Right now though, it seems an awful lot like a rough draft written at 2 in the morning.

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