Florence Onyango

Comments

I thought this story was interesting, a surprise like biting into a croissant and getting chocolate. The beginning was a little slow for me and the end was a little weak for what the story was building up towards. Overall I enjoyed it.

Comments

Birth Of Dragon was an interesting (In a good way) read for me. Many times it read to me more like narrative poetry than narrative prose. I thought the pace changed a lot in the beginning of the second act. It's starts off with a mellow rhythm then moves from one event to the next like the snap of the fingers. I would like to read more.

Comments

A splendid read. I can't say I didn't sniffle when the mate died but I was smiling by the end of it. I've learned a few things from reading this piece as a writer. First, You can take a story that has been told before and give it an entirely new and captivating perspective. Second, don't avoid uncomfortable subjects there is always a way to do it tactful with a pinch of humor. (This is in reference with the whole mating and having kits)
All in all a beautifully crafted prose.

Comments

I found the whole concept of imagining something to reality very interesting. However, I found the story a little difficult to follow. Some of the sentence were very compound; like when the lead character is annoyed about the difference between a grand slam and lumberjack slam. I do think a second read and edit could dot the Is and cross the Ts for a more structured read.

Riveting

What a through and through riveting read. From the first sentence to the last, quite engrossing. I thought it was well written. The pace was right, the plot was engaging and the characters well rounded and well established even if it was just an excerpt . I like the subtle lightness to an otherwise dark story.

Comments

It's an interesting idea to have someone kill as a way of suicide. I wish the story had more emotion in it to give it a more sinister texture. There was a disconnect like I was watching it happen rather than I could feel it happening, I couldn't really understand what was going on with the character. If it was something mental I could have liked to have glimpses of an unstable mind rather than be outright informed.Nothing the less, I enjoyed it.

Good Read

I really enjoyed the read. What a way to take a legend story as such and give it this "breath' of freshness. It's a well written, well told prose. I like how the plot twist comes into play when you think it's just a story of crime of passion.