Kareena NS

Ridgecrest, AZ

Hello, everyone! I've been writing for 5 years. I'm slowly improving my technique and getting better, so stay tuned in for exciting adventures from fresh and fun characters!

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Felt down-to-earth and relatable

As you may have been able to tell from my in-line private feedback comments, I'm all about being helpful with writing tips whenever I can, and here are some things that I noted while reading.
Commas: This is a big one. I noticed that in some places, there weren't commas where there needed to be and commas in places that didn't need them. I see on your wall that you've been hard at work editing, so I assume that this is your first draft and will be spiffied up later on.
Paragraphs: Here's the part where you're probably gonna unfollow then block me. Your paragraphs are too long, and this will discourage a reader. The beginning felt like reading blocks of text. I would advise breaking up the paragraphs. Your reader is like a baby, and infants are unable to swallow a whole granola bar. To be fair, I don't think babies can eat granola anyway, but you get the drift, right?
Semicolons: I saw the use of this twice and commented both times, but I think I should probably explain what I meant. Semicolons should be used as a substitution for a period and as a separation of two independent clauses. I observed, in some places, you have used a semicolon where there is meant to be a comma.
However, please don't let grammar or punctuation discourage you from writing! You are an awesome writer! With that being said, here are some things that you have mastered within the text!
The British slang: I loved it! Maybe it's because I've become so developed in reading 'American' texts, but I felt like your work was so refreshing! It really placed me in the setting of your book.
Characters: Wow, you really set yourself up well with your characters! There's a ton of room for the exploration of Kathryn and her mother's relationship and all of its complexities. Kathryn felt relatable and real, which is something a ton of authors struggle with, and I want to learn more about her.
Final thoughts: You have very clean descriptions and good readability. There aren't too many hard words that a reader might struggle over, which makes more room for pulling the reader's intrigue in with the plot and characters. Overall, this book is one of the better ones that I've read on this site so far! Keep it up, author!

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Intriguing!

This story definitely has promise! Minus a few grammar mistakes and a few info dumps in the beginning, I think this could be a popular story! The premise of having elementals is always overdone with stories, but your felt refreshing, most likely due to your dynamic characters. Well done, author!

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