Cool P.O.V.
The plot of this story was really interesting! Choosing a child as the protagonist made the story stand out from other books, and so was the idea of using a camera as the point of view. I feel like this would be cool if it was adapted into a movie!
Overall, there were a lot of technical mistakes with grammar, tense, and paragraph breaks, and I found it took away from the story. I would strongly recommend editing. I think this story could also be improved by fleshing out more of the characters and action scenes. I also have a lot of questions about the conflict/war, such as how it was caused, who it's affecting, etc. It's such an interesting idea and I would love to see it developed further.
I hope you'll continue with this story and concept!
Read the story now