Darth Bat

New author that joined inkitt after looking for a place better than wattpad, love mafia books, gay, hoping to have writing be a hobby. Not much I know, I just suck at biography's

Overall Rating
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Pretty good

Ok so, it is a great book overall but I do have some notes.

When the time is transitioning, it is kind of without warning, you are smacked into a new time of day and it feels like I skipped over some things, so I suggest when going future into the time to have a warning or a symbol saying you are time skipping like **** or (TS) and let people know

Also another note, some of the names or objects were mixed up, they meant someone or something else and wrote another person's name which was oddly confusing at a first glance.

Another, is that I feel like the main character cried to much, I get it he is a sensitive kid, but if you want to have a dramatic hit on your readers, you want that emotion of sadness grow over time and have one day your character snap and cry, then it hits the reader, but if you continuously make your character cry or feel bad about themselves without stop, your readers eventually lose their focus on their mental state and the dramatic hit you are looking for is gone and the reader gets bored.

But overral it was a great book and I enjoyed reading it and I am definitely going to read the other two, thank you for your hard work into this book!! 😀

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