J. AnTony

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Not Into Horror. However!

I'm not going to lie, horror isn't my cup of tea. I honestly argued with myself if I wanted to read it, but I told myself at least read the summary... Yeah that didn't help at all! lol Ants when she pees? Yeah I was turned off and said a hard NOPE... But I wanted to see what happens and how exactly this begins because I am a cat, and my curiosity gets the better of me.

On a serious note, not bad actually. Very modern and well paced. Like some horror flicks, it starts out normal and then bam! Not any more. The 'normal' aspects of her life are meaningful, as in they pertain to the story at hand. You get to see her life style and why she is against this suddenly change in her life because she was selected to carry the torch. I mean, if anything you can look at this in two ways. She is the villain here and the 'heroes of old' are getting back at her for not doing her part/being selfish. Or, her family are the villains and she is just trying to live her well built life. Its fitting and you can sense the drama as well as the haunting aspect of the whole thing build. From the moment of her running the woman over I feel like she was cursed at that moment. (Sure, she wasn't driving, but.) Good mix of suspense building with each chapter.

I will say I was thrown off at the start. There was a lot explained before we jumped right back into the club that I almost forgot they were there. I find myself struggling with the same aspect. You want to explain such things but don't want to take away from the current scene at hand and drive the readers away. I felt like that cluster of info at the club could have been broken up or spread out throughout the first chapter. Start it off, explain more as she slept in the car, after they hit the woman explain a bit more on why something like this can ruin all she built, etc. Having said all that I could be entirely wrong and this is just my opinion. We have different styles of writing and to be honest horror isn't a big one for me.

Overall I was able to follow the plot pretty nicely. I got a sense of who the characters are so far and what is yet to come. Nice build up so far, please keep on going.

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

This review is based on the prologue

Plot/ Story: So, once again, I don't know the entire story because it isn't up yet. Having said that, based on this read here I'm excitingly confused. I felt like the ending was a good twist. It was unexpected as there was no threat from her given at the start. Having said that, I wish there was more back and forth between noticing the gun, using the gun to play a part of the romance, or simply a notion that her heart is heavy along with her actual body being heavy because she was holding onto the something.(At this point these are just suggestions, take it or leave it, your piece here was great regardless!)
To me, it would of been nice to see more of his attempt to subdue her because of the gun. In a way, to indicate that she is currently a threat to him but he is trying to use his presence to stop his possible death. Unless he wasn't and his mind set was simply that she wouldn't.

The reason why I mentioned this, is because I almost stopped reading it. It felt like something I've peered over my wife's shoulder a few times and caught her reading before.(mostly vampire and werewolf stuff so those lines pertaining to their necks was a repeated factor for me. Still juicy detail though.) The romance aspect was there. For the love of everything spicy in the world, THAT part was spot on. Great job! For me, I was losing interest because that part of the story seemed to carry on a bit long without any evidence that she was currently a threat to not only their relationship, but to his life. Which again, made for a great 'whoa' moment when she literally ended it.

Your writing style is brilliant, as well as your vocabulary. As a poet I know using certain words at certain times can make a big impact. Any misuse of words or rather misplaced words can deflate the proper emotion you want the reader to have.

As far as grammar and such I really didn't focus on it honestly. I was thrown off by the single quotations but if this is a past event then I guess that makes sense. I might have been confused on who was talking at some points because the speech was joined together with the rest of the paragraph. Breaking up different character's speech by starting a new line can help readers understand who is speaking. Its a golden rule not an actual 'must do' so.

Overall, great job. As I stated before, I'm excitingly confused, which is a good thing. Please produce more when you can. I await to see what happens.

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Wanting More

This story had a strong opening. It had so much profound words that it captivated me. The fact tension was introduced right from the start, not knowing if they just fought or if they were about too was good. Turns out they just met.

As for grammar I believe it was pretty well. I noticed the one quotation mark was facing the wrong way but that's no fault of yours it happens when you use a dash- like so at the end of a speech line instead of a period. I figured out a way around that because I wrote a book where both characters cut it other off a lot. Other than that I didn't really find much as far as grammar so great job!

I want more! Also, I want more if his perspective as well. I only saw one part where it joked about amnesia as part of his perspective but other than wanting more of his thoughts, great piece here!

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

The Title Fits Perfectly

I didn't give 5 stars to one category simply because I'm not finished with the book. I wanted to be a bit fair but honestly I'm half way in and it is great.

As far as grammar, I know as a poet myself it is vitally important that the proper word and how the words are strung together that makes the impact of the poem. Any little slip up breaks the flow, therefore it breaks the first 'wow' factor or impact if you have to re-read a line because you're tying to figure out what word is supposed to be there in order to digest the poem. Having said all that, not once did I find myself braking the flow of each piece because of grammar, great job.

Honestly speaking it's brilliant and well thought out. It's amazing when you can read a good length poem and be impacted, turn the page and read 5 to 6 lines and have your jaw drop in awe. Brilliant.

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