jayhaydn

Sinister and Fun

The author is skilled at building up tension in their writing. The chapters are left with cliffhangers which made me want to read on. However every so often the tense slips from present to past and there are a few spelling errors which can be fixed with editing.

I like how the protagonist's anxiety plays out and she grows stronger and more confident as the story progresses.

The story flows well and the supernatural asylum setting is fun and sinister. I am eagerly waiting for more chapters.

Great work.

Emotional Fairy Tale

Such a sad fairy tale. I felt sorry for Kun especially with how her parents treated her. Has an impactive family dynamic that ties in with Kun's anxiety.

Great world building technique for a short story. I was not expecting the ending that there was.

Charming Story

I have read the first seven chapters so far and shall certainly carry on reading because I am invested in the characters, who all have well thought out, individual personalities. I like the friendship groups and they seem to act like you would expect eleven year olds to be towards each other.

The tone is rather charming with the boarding school settings. It is an easy story to follow and time flew when I read it.

There are a few grammatical errors I picked up on but nothing too jarring, they can easily be fixed with some edits.

I am keen to see where the plot of this story will take me. And shall read more soon and most likely add a full review.

Enjoyable first chapter

I liked the dynamic between the three siblings. The protagonist, Melody comes across as a strong willed young lady who is also thoughtful to other's feelings. The tone is energetic leaving me wanting to know what will happen in further chapters.