Jeffrey Pope

Calabar, Cross River State

As an avid reader, I am particularly obsessed with dark and twisted stories, with a bit of romance tossed in.

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A wonderful piece that got me thinking.

It reads like poetry. I remember how I felt such depth while reading your story. It feels like you are both a novelist and a poet to describe this unique world so profoundly. It's a gift. I love how you portrayed our connection with the stars in the sky, while picking your words with care.You are an inspiration to all young writers like myself.

As beautiful as this story is, it still had it flaws. Grammar, spellings, and punctuation errors. I also noticed that you weren't sure when to capitalize your letters after a dialogue tag. I didn't feel immersed in your story... I couldn't get a feel of this world you're writing about. Why couldn't I heard the noise from the other persons in the background when Vincent and Josefina were having a moment in the bar? Where there no background music? I couldn't hear the birds chirping, wind blowing... I felt deaf while reading throughout the whole time.

Other than that, this story had many details that appeal to the senses which made it engaging for a reader. This was an excellent story, good job. Thank you so much for inviting me into your world.

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Wow! This was beautiful!

l love the setup, it's so surreal. Your detailed description made me feel the story in my bones. intriguing! It started like the typical Cinderella story, and just when I was beginning to get bored by the cliche and predictive storyline, the plot deviated to something totally unexpected. I became totally hooked - thankful that I didn't abandon reading it after the first few chapters.

As much as I enjoyed the plot, I didn't feel immersed in your story... I couldn't get a feel of this world you're writing about. Why can't I hear the sound of other people buzzing with laughter, the rivers flowing, birds chirping, wind blowing... I feel deaf while reading throughout the whole time.

And also, when Victoria picked up Liam's royal pin after that first dance, I thought that would contribute significantly to the plot, turns out you only included that scene for the word count.

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What a creative mind you have!

This story, while very short in length, it is immense in meaning. In its tightened length, it speaks volumes. It really intrigued me and conjured up some beautiful images. Especially whenever malakith reads people mind, I really enjoy seeing what she sees. You explained her visions so vividly through the character's eyes, that I felt I could touch, hear and see exactly what she sees.

So far, I'm aware that Malakith and her siblings aren't humans. They are some kind of winged creatures - but what are they really? Fairies?
Nephele? angels?

Other than that, it was simply brilliant! The way you have woven such depth in such a small length! I only wish I could write like you!

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It reads like a children play

A stunning work of fiction. I couldn't help but love how a bunch of teenager aren't afraid to express their love for the other. I recommend this to anyone interested in children fiction.

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Such a flowing, lyrical story.

This was so beautifully written - such a wholesome story to read. Although, the story started with the promises of some royal touch that I almost concluded what its ending would look like (since the story is not yet finished, I'm still speculating.)

Incredible writing - as a novelist, I appreciate a good story that's well written - I can't believe I have never read your stories before. While reading, I got this feeling of melancholy and Harmony. Beautiful!

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A beautiful short story 🏆

What an interesting read! I'm not sure I completely understood the twist at the end though - that's if it's meant to be a plot twist.

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That Was Awesome!

What a creative mind you have! Loved the story. It really intrigued me and conjured up some beautiful images. Especially how Erebus explained what's behind each doors. I loved the way you constructed this story around such an interesting idea and you brought such insight to it. Well done.Your narrative drew me in to the story and I felt like your character was sitting there in front of me telling the story. Really expertly and beautifully written, so much so that I want to read it again!

One tiny thing I spotted in your story is this. Leaving the reader with unanswered questions is great in moderation, but this leaves me with too many. For instances, Nemesis fell down a hole which brought her to Erebus' house. But I can't seem to get a feeling of this house. Where is it located? Is it in some remote neighborhood? I can't hear the sound of anyone in the house, or the wind, or the birds outside. I'm not sure how to feel about it. Is his house floating in space?

Your story certainly sounds intriguing! But fantasy and romance genres are not really my cup of tea. Nonetheless, I might give the rest of your books a read in my spare time.

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Intriguing

There are definitely a couple edits needed. It is ab interesting read, not sure if the story is complete though. But if you do complete it, I'll love to for you to notify me.

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An interesting read

Although the plot seemed interesting, the story went by at an incredible speed which didn't give enough room for an improved character development. You did a great job. I'm sure you'll get better as you keep writing.

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A Page Turner

This is truly a sensational romance. I hope it becomes a novel. Every paragraph got my sizzling with excitement.

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Enticing

It's an interesting read. A typical "Alice in wonderland" story - or in this case, 'Anna in wonderland'. For a fourteen years old, you did a great job bringing that mystery world to life in a book. Keep up the good work.

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A wonderful piece

It's an interesting read. You couldn't have been more detailed with your descriptions. A longer story would have allowed for an improved character development.

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