Joe Greer

Been writing westerns and mysteries for twenty years. Have a series I am writing; I love reading and would appreciate any help :0)

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Very interesting overall

I like the start and how the author doesn't let us in to the story entirely; we have to feel it out. Good descriptions of landscape, and the way you describe the senses- smell, touch, sight... are well-written. I would delve into the backstory a bit more and lay the setting down, but starting a scene in media res is a great way to open up a tale. Grammar and punctuation are solid, with only minor nitpicks.

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Transcendeance

The first line is a great hook; the story literally starts out with a bang and the aftermath of the events are well-detailed in their description. The colors, the feelings, the mood; it is all well-set and written.

The first chapter sets up the conflict nicely; the character's journey has an interesting start (or end). Describing certain things, like the darkness, gives the reader the perfect atmosphere for this story. I liked that we reveal what has happened, where we are, and we slowly peel back how our main character is adapting to this new "environment".

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