Julia4_67

Lots of issues

The quality of writing (grammar and such) was poor. There were several mistakes that made the story hard to read and confused the reader. In plot, there were multiple holes and the time skips get very confusing after a while. The writing style is okay, but the grammar drags it down a lot. There were lots of internal thoughts (italicized), which made it a little redundant. Try to work on making sure that when you quote, the “he said, she said, they told them” is in the right format (next to quote with comma, not a whole other paragraph).

Keeps you at the edge of your seat!

Being someone who has recently dipped her toes in the ever-so-curious horror/mystery/thriller genre, I’m pleasantly surprised at this story. Being a romance reader, plot twists happen not very often and they typically aren’t even that twisty. This is great and I’m excited to read more. I’d only say that for those of us in the back of class, you could probably slow down those dramatic scenes a little more, to help the less experienced readers understand what’s happening, and there are some grammatical errors that EVERYBODY makes so don’t stress about that, just do a second look over before publishing the chapter :)

Dark and captivating!

I do enjoy this book, though while reading it, I was confused at times, which leads me to believe there are some plot holes. If you want to skip back five years prior, make sure the reader is still able to follow what’s happening, not just you as the author. Also, I notice a lot of other writers doing this so I’m going to make a little tutorial. When quoting two pieces of dialogue in the same paragraph (AKA the same person talking twice) this is how you should format it.
“Blah blah blah,” he/she/they said. You can put a detail or something here, but makes sure it ends with a period. “Blah blah blah.”
I also think that this story feels like a regular romance with mafia themes, not a full on mafia romance (if that makes sense), I’m not sure if that’s what you were going for, but I would personally make it more of a mafia romance. I hope this helps!

Enticing and fantastical!

The craft this author utilizes is absolutely stunning. They are able to create a certain mood with their syntax and diction, which is very impressive. The characters are so distinctly themselves and they have their own quirks. The point of view is through a man’s eyes, which rarely happens anymore, so that’s amazing. I love this! A must-read for sure!

Mysterious and elegant!

I love the FMC, Cassidy, so much. She has such a distinct personality and I love that about her. I love the suspense set in place by the author for Tyler. He seems so cool but I think we all are a bit suspicious. This book keeps me at the edge of my seat wanting more! I love it!

Fun and gripping!

I love the songs and how beautifully crafted they are (it almost inspires me to be a songwriter but I know nothing about song structure). The characters are so interesting and each play a significant role in the story. I love this!