These Lovely Forms
I am a spirituals, and my story...Ethereal Witnesses...is about a medium, spirits and the afterlife. Naturally I was drawn to this fascinating story.
Read the story now
From the beginning I was impressed by the way that you portrayed the angel-spirits. They were not wispy, transparent, ghostly non-beings. Not only were they solid to each other, they were tactile to the earthly conditions. Being influenced by gravity while sitting in a tree. By breathing the air, although they didn’t actual need too. Speaking, sighing, feeling emotions. This portrayed them as characters who we the reader could emphasis with. The theme of the story was also unique too.
You are a very accomplished writer. The characters descriptions, personalities were well described. You write action scenes with natural easy to read dialogue. Those scenes drove the story forward at a good pace, However, my overall impression while reading was. There is too much telling. Not that your story telling was bad. No, you are a good descriptive writer. It just slowed down everything. I know readers who skip-read; my wife skips halve a page down to the next action and dialogue. All of her life she has read about six books a week?
I am a slow reader and didn’t skip any of your lovely story. If I did an inline critique, I wouldn’t find many faults. It kept me reading wanting more. That’s what good writing and storytelling is all about.