Excellent read!
Your story captured my attention from the first chapter. The way the story is structured helps the reader not lose interest in the book. The plot was creative and your ability to create suspense is good but I believe it could be better. The character development is gradual and fits the plot. There are minimal plot-holes which makes the story flow. One thing that stood out to me was the way you introduced characters and their backgrounds. It truly felt like storytelling and not breaking the forth wall to introduce a character. The only thing I believe you should work on is your grammar and punctuation. At times, I couldn't understand what the character meant to say due to a lack of commas, semi-colons and dashes. Other than that, this story is truly a wonderwork. Good job!
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