Kieth94

Albuquerque

I'm a freelancer, former Affiliate marketer. I have a wide-open imagination. Can draw from text or story title for inspiration.

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great but some grammar needs editing

The uniqueness of an horror story. Doesn’t drag plot that much grammar needs a bit editing but alright.
It mostly a battle between good and evil which it’s serious business when it comes to the spirit world.

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Too descriptive in places

Love the story so far. The dialogue works quite well between the Descendents and the parents (evil parents I may add) and the plot works quite well. I like Mal and Jay as a character in the story too. Problem though (i may be too nitpicky) That in the first chapter it was a tad bit too descriptive with Mal's clothing in a few places. Instead, But other than that a cool story (in fact a book sequel) overall.

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