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A review to your first chapter

Since you asked for one, here you go. The plot of the story seems intriguing but, you should've explained more stuff in detail at first. For instance you should've talked more about the land, the age of this story, the ruler and how the ruler ascended the throne, the girl and who really is she. Not in detail but, briefly in the beginning of the story. I am not here to teach you or something but, I am writing what I felt while reading this. Maybe you plan to write that later on but, it is what I felt whilst reading this. I hope I don't offend you in anyway. But, seriously though you have an interesting idea.

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